After Dark, Central Park

Whilst spying on Anne Hathaway performing in Shakespeare in the Park, a distant rhythm caught my ear. It was not dissimilar to the thumping sound my sisters back in Bunola would make with their little groundhog legs whenever they were in the mood for some woodchuck lovin'. As I moved closer, all I could see was people's asses wigglin' from behind.

I'm only short, people - MOVE!

So I pushed my way to the front for a better vantage point.


The people appeared to be leg thumping like my sisters back in Bunola, only this time, with panache.

It was sort of like a line dance, but with better music and better looking people and better clothes. And better hair.

Here are some Euros doing the Barbara Cartland version of dance overkill: salsa to deep soulful house on rollerblades whilst wearing chinos and a swimming pool cover. And smiling. Lame.

People loved me... this is the DJ, the best dancer (check out that HAIR), and some juicy pleb.

Meet Will. He's from Brooklyn, and comes to Central Park every Sunday to skate and watch pretty girls bang those legs all over the place. He had a great smile, and took me for a spin on his wheels.

Freakurbanism

NYC is wonderful for walking, watching, and just looking

It started with Broadway

This is Wall Street, where the big dicks swing

120

Some typical rooftops. Note the water towers at the top. Reminds me of Bunola and my home under the swimming pool.

Hell's kitchen

A beautifully typical steamy street scene. Instant classic

The Empire State Building, luckily King Kong was not there

Those Irish. They really can't spell

Central park

NYC Subway part 2

Chugga-chugga chugga-chugga chugga-chugga woop-woop
Here is the subway. It's as loud and rickety and 100 percenet New York as it looks in every movie and bad TV show you've ever seen. Beat Street, Saturday Night Fever, Ghost, How I Met Your Mother (I love the scene where Barney can't move after running the New York marathon).

This dude is pretty typical of New Yorkers. He looks a bit stern at first, but take a closer look, and those eyes are alert and smiling.

Suit admiring own reflection

Intense pick-up, New York-style.

Fuckin' bad-ass tattooed pot-bellied cop

Flying the flag. Again.

Every great world city subway has a crumbling atmosphere that points to former glories. I'd love to check out Moscow next. I hear it's the Miss Havisham of metros

NYC Subway I

Can somebody please explain WHY there are so many latex gloves lying around on the ground in New York? Did I miss the busking prostate doctors?

Anyway, while I was examining some evidence in my search for clues, some dick called me a beaver.

'Yo! Dude! Some folks might be offended by a naked beaver', he Noo Yoiked right at me.

So as you can see, we had a little conversation, and I politely explained to him that I am NO beaver...

I am Eliott Lloyd Taylor, named after Frank Lloyd Wright, formerly of Bunola P.A. Clearly, The Fonz wasn't having this, so I threatened him with my rabid prairie dog impersonation, and he slunk away

See the original prairie dog here:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y8Kyi0WNg40&feature=fvw

Condominium

Office-style residences in the Meat Packing district. Good for light, bad for privacy. Then again, you don't live here if you want to hide from the world.

There is a tiny pig in there.

Is this an ironic take on the district name?

I also visited Soho House and the Rivington, a strange land of blondes and people with enlarged cranium issues. I didn't take any pictures, because their heads wouldn't fit in the frame.

Reclaim the Rails

This summer, New York sprouted a new wonder: The High Line
The brain-child of one amazingly tenacious New York citizen, name forthcoming (how can a groundhog be expected to retain such piffling factiles) this once-abandoned railway now hangs, overflowing with flowers and trees, like a beautiful urban Babylon, bang in middle of NYC's Meatpacking district

Lady, forget skin cancer, have you never heard of strap marks?

Some people are listening to the history of the project - from the very maverick who conceived the idea and carried it through. What an amazing nutcase, the odds were stacked right against him but he did it. All the workers there are volunteers.

Railways, grass and purple

Ragga papped

Making love to the lens

The Standard hotel

http://www.standardhotels.com/new-york-city/

http://www.thehighline.org/

It's OK to be a tourist in NYC

We stopped by NYC's Visitor Center. It feels like a cross between the Apple Shop and The Fifth Element

810 Seventh Avenue

http://www.nycgo.com/

Bitchin'n'twitchin'

This is a touchscreen map of New York. Just hop anywhere you want, and a bunch of interesting stuff to do comes up in little bubbles, complete with descriptions, and contact details. Amazing stuff.

Reclaim the Streets
Times Square gets pedestrian, complete with deck chairs and mini sofas. Strange to see all these people relaxing in what is usually a mad cacophony of horns and engines and and neon and posters.

Clusterfuck...
Even if you've never been to New York before, it feels like you're coming home because everything is so familiar. And overwhelming. Ah, New York. It's louder than your Mum.

Me, and my travel companions
(I took this picture with my foot, in case you were wondering.)

Hotel 414 - Hell's kitchen

We bunked down in Hell's kitchen at a little boutique hotel called the 414, not bad. Right in the middle of a leafy street, surrounded by steers, queers, and eccentric old dears. This is the life... Just need to find me a lady whistle-pig New Yorker, get myself that green-card.

http://www.414hotel.com/